I'm going to get a little personal and "Go there" because every year Carter is still here with us is a true miracle, and I always reflect back on how absolutely far we have come. I remember every detail of having carter NINE years ago.I look back I can see how FAR we have come and its amazing. I Love you Carter with all my heart, soul, WE will ALWAYS do our Very best for you!
June 9th 2003 So nervous for my baby boy to arrive the next morning! I got the call from doctor "He needs to come out, he is just small" At first I was excited, then worry set in "Are you sure thats all, there is nothing wrong" Doctor "Nope he is just small"
we went to Dinner that night, so nervous about the morning, then my worried mind wondered ~ Me "What if you had a special need child?"
I guess I didn't know at the time,but maybe I did? ~ Angles were making their last arrangements to prepare me, Planting a little seed in my mind.~
When Carter came out, there are no words, no words for that painful, gut wrenching sorrow, confusion, denial, seeing what I felt like was my baby, but wasn't... Where was the picture perfect first baby birth! The words "Its a bouncing baby boy!!" Instead it was confusion and sorrow. I watched the doctor scrabble around, watched her go out and tell all of our family things did not look good. They came in strong, positive even though their hearts were breaking too. There was still a innocent baby and the words being said "He is still a baby, and needs our love"
The next day I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed while the doctor was telling us our baby boy would possibly not make it home if he did he would be a vegetable.... 9 years later he is here, he is carter, HE IS 9! He has never been a vegetable. I can go back and relive all that pain, and be so sad for that new mom who's dreams were crushed, but all that pain fueled us with strength. Strength that Carter deserved. Little did I know that God was giving me the biggest blessing of my life. God was giving me a little person who would teach me more than I dreamed of teaching him. Little did I know that 3 years later I would be standing outside his hospital room while he was so sick, begging God not to take him, praying to God He is my life, please let him stay. And he did, one month later we went home with a true fighter. He fights more fights than he should, than any person should. He gets really pissed off about it, but still laughs and smiles.
His laugh is a deep belly giggle, its extremely contagious. I think he saves up every wonderful thing he has to say and it comes out in that giggle! His hugs are like a piece of heaven! He lights up a room, he knows by far more people than I do, when you go somewhere and random strangers come up and say "HI Carter!" You know he left a stamp on many souls. Happy NINE Years Carter and Cheers to Many more!
I'm going to get a little personal and "Go there" because every year Carter is still here with us is a true miracle, and I always reflect back on how absolutely far we have come. I remember every detail of having carter NINE years ago.I look back I can see how FAR we have come and its amazing. I Love you Carter with all my heart, soul, WE will ALWAYS do our Very best for you!
June 9th 2003 So nervous for my baby boy to arrive the next morning! I got the call from doctor "He needs to come out, he is just small" At first I was excited, then worry set in "Are you sure thats all, there is nothing wrong" Doctor "Nope he is just small"
we went to Dinner that night, so nervous about the morning, then my worried mind wondered ~ Me "What if you had a special need child?"
I guess I didn't know at the time,but maybe I did? ~ Angles were making their last arrangements to prepare me, Planting a little seed in my mind.~
When Carter came out, there are no words, no words for that painful, gut wrenching sorrow, confusion, denial, seeing what I felt like was my baby, but wasn't... Where was the picture perfect first baby birth! The words "Its a bouncing baby boy!!" Instead it was confusion and sorrow. I watched the doctor scrabble around, watched her go out and tell all of our family things did not look good. They came in strong, positive even though their hearts were breaking too. There was still a innocent baby and the words being said "He is still a baby, and needs our love"
The next day I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed while the doctor was telling us our baby boy would possibly not make it home if he did he would be a vegetable.... 9 years later he is here, he is carter, HE IS 9! He has never been a vegetable. I can go back and relive all that pain, and be so sad for that new mom who's dreams were crushed, but all that pain fueled us with strength. Strength that Carter deserved. Little did I know that God was giving me the biggest blessing of my life. God was giving me a little person who would teach me more than I dreamed of teaching him. Little did I know that 3 years later I would be standing outside his hospital room while he was so sick, begging God not to take him, praying to God He is my life, please let him stay. And he did, one month later we went home with a true fighter. He fights more fights than he should, than any person should. He gets really pissed off about it, but still laughs and smiles.
His laugh is a deep belly giggle, its extremely contagious. I think he saves up every wonderful thing he has to say and it comes out in that giggle! His hugs are like a piece of heaven! He lights up a room, he knows by far more people than I do, when you go somewhere and random strangers come up and say "HI Carter!" You know he left a stamp on many souls. Happy NINE Years Carter and Cheers to Many more!
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